Justine. It hurt me so much, I couldn’t understand, with time during my healing process God revealed to me the reasons. My goal is to deliver practical content to encourage you in your relationship with God. Things just fell apart from no where. Love Justine. Pray for my peace and understanding and a closer walk with God to understand it all, Hey Latia! I can totally empathize here. If you can answer all these questions with a yes then there is a good chance that the relationship is serving a bigger purpose. May angels of the Lord’s love surround bless and carry you always. Did he make you feel closer to God? Living life on auto pilot was all I was doing but something happened in the first 3 months of the breakup. Love & Light. I’m a man and read this I believe that I didn’t understand true love Idk if it’s cuz I grew up in a broken home but I know that when I got with my ex in 2009 we ended officially on 2018 we have 3 precious boys It hurts me to read this because I honestly think I wasn’t in a relationship lead by God I worked all the time and never gave her the love she deserved ,( I wasn’t the best at anything and didn’t really put effort because I thot she loved me and I loved her) after a while she may have felt unappreciated and cheated on me she confessed and after being hurt for a while I thot of MY mom and dad how they broke up and how I FELT when I was a child I didn’t want that for my sons so I forgave her and tried to make it work .after that I feel the rest of the relationship was forced ,it breaks my heart that I hurt her but I feel she wasn’t right for cheating I understand God wants us to forgive but there was too much pain ! We fell in love instantly. Trust God to give you the courage to end the relationship, and then trust Him to give you broad enough shoulders and thick enough skin to take the criticism that you may face for ending the relationship. Good luck! He said he felt I lectured him like a child and wouldn’t let him do what he enjoyed. However Ive been feeling in my heart that right now we’re totally out of sync. Sometimes our judgment is clouded. But I’ve been so angry and God and that man. It’s been 3 weeks since the breakup, and I strongly feel that God wants us to continue to be together, but waiting is the hardest. I told her to please stop questioning it. If it is only so you can win back your ex, then I believe you are doing it for the wrong reasons. Love & Light Justine, Im so heartbroken too I was in a relationship for 5 months .My boyfriend and I wanted to be pure in all ,so he told me God wants us to break up in oder for us to really worship him in truth.I’m still wondering cuz everything was fine and we even prayed together. Hey Ben, I disagree with you. At the brink of death you reflect upon the years of wasted time and wonder how you allowed yourself to minimize the things you knew were important by becoming a slave of routine. I will pray for you. But im full of pain an God still gave me the answer. I felt a certain freedom and have continued to go on living my life for God. Anyway he broke up with me saying he didn’t think he could be the man i needed. " God uses delays to test how we will respond under pressure and to test our loyalty and obedience to Him. Sometimes those reasons make me confused and more confuse. U know I met a guy online, long story short u wouldn’t think this happens to u on a Christian dating site ecsp after u CLEARLY state u want marriage and kids and follow Christ. My boyfriend left me after I found out I was pregnant and now he’s seeing the girl in my building. Or do u think I’m disobeying God as He asked me to let him go. I loved a lady and God used it to change my life to its full potential (not in an idolatric way, but it pushed me to keep on pushing with Him to be the best pleasing sacrifice to Him). The first two relationships I was young and my neigbor an older woman very much took infatuation and advances which taught me the acute difference of the two It’s been 4 months now. 2 or 3 months later, he confessed to me. Moreover, your love for him remains strong, even when the honeymoon phase is over. Even when you’re together, you’re distant. Sometimes the reason is staring us right in our face but it’s hard for us to accept. And he 42. I first met him when I was 5 and he was 10, and since then I fell instantly in love with him, and he was somehow attracted to me. Now this, Hey Pile, I’m sorry to hear that. You may have asked God for a sign that the person you are in a relationship with is the one for you. He was at that stage an acquaintance and I never had any feelings for him. Although I quickly realized I was happier on the other side where I had moved and broken up with my now ex-boyfriend. I was with my high school sweetheart for 5 years. Until now, recently I fell very ill. I’m glad this article helped. I was sort of happy and safe on my own and made peace that I will grow old without a soulmate. I am hopeful this will be my testimony in the near future. I knew this is the man I want to marry. Hi Justine, my name is Emmy Young and I would like to Thank You so much for Understanding God’s No and helping me understand why he says no when it comes to relationships. I’m 31. Even though I am heart broken and sad and wish I can make the relationship work again, I have a conviction in my spirit to let it go. It grew worse and depression settled in. I reminded him of our prophetic word and his response was it’s not godly to keep doing that and using god. My trust is gone in them and they’re no longer #1 on my list to call first. He was there for a period so that you could get to this point of getting closer to God but the relationship was not the reason/final destination. It’s complicated because the relationship was forcibly ended when we were still in a “lovesick” state with each other. The above these three points explain why God will sometimes end a relationship. The reason doesn’t always present itself right away, but usually it is for our good. I’m still praying to God if He can give me my relationship back. Wow what a testimony. Yes, it felt like love but I idolized him and I had to take a break. Did he have a purpose in life and for the relationship? God answered my prayers ringing us reconciled under the potent circumstances of something evil seeking to destroy us. Please I need you advice, this has been giving me sleepless nights,how should I handle this issue? Imagine the tragedy of waking up at the end of a self-centered and meaningless life. in painful agony of what we both know and feel. Reading this now I realize that no matter how much I tried to focus on God I still idolized the relationship more. It may seem crazy but she comes to me in my dreams every night.she smiles, runs her hand thru my hair and looks in my eyes as if to tell me ” don’t worry everything is going to be ok”. I proposed to her on 03/06/2019 because i have grown to truely love her despite her faults but ever si;ce i proposed it has been issues after the other. I have a problem, my birthdad who was never ever ever there for me, is a narcissist and has always tried to ruin my life, whether by work or by family. And all the breakups she gives me funny reasons why she has to breakup with me. You’re in a relationship, and nothing’s really bad, exactly, but things are different. He then by that time with having his own health issues twitch myself and spouse were amongst friends which we’re trying to help him through his financial hardships which came about in lieu of the health issues. We sell ourselves short, and we sell God short too. I went to work this morning and my manager sent me home because of how bad I looked. I grew up in a Christian home but I am not saved because I am not sure about all the teachings in Christianity . And I think I was closer to God before I was dating her too. An idol can be anything you desire more than God. Hi Gabe, God is a God of grace. Hey Rebecca, I’m so glad you took the first step to breaking the soul tie between that man and yourself. I I’m a man that had to reply to your article and it helped me understand as a man that has to except God’s no. Unfortunately, I can’t answer your question, because I don’t know what God’s plan for you is. My purpose for this site is to help women attract and maintain a godly relationship, by teaching self-love, mastery of the mind and confidence. According to the Oxford Dictionary, infatuation is: ‘an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something.’, ‘patient, kind. I broke up with my Ex 2 years ago but I feel so tied to him. I stumble upon your article and it did enlightened me. I believe you are taking the right steps by repenting and asking God to be the center of your relationship from here on now. big or small <3, Hi Hillary, But then you mentioned how he uses people. However, don’t make that your goal and obsess over it, because that will only lead to you making your own plans. Remember that. This is actually something that I’ve been battling with. So take heart and learn to trust God when a relationship ends. You have to learn to love yourself and your partner the way God does. So true,yet sometimes difficult to realise. It always protects, always trusts always hopes, always perseveres and it never fails.’ (Excerpt of 1 Corinthians 13). Not realizing that in order to do so, God may have to get rid of the root of that problem: Your relationship! I am working on myself confidence now I hope everything work out good for me I’ve been crying myself to sleep asking God why me because that’s not my first heart broken but this one hurt more because it was my real sexual things involved relationship it’s said to see how he treated me at the end but thank for opening my eyes. But I don’t think it’s healthy to focus on the temporary’ part. I lived him but for him it was infatuation, although he claimed to love me. Its been a week , and Im dying inside . My question now been whenever I pray about this even after we have ended I keep getting the feeling like a little voice telling me to be patient kind of have faith of a thing and keep praying about the situation? I think you are doing the right thing by surrendering the relationship to God and not forcing it. God hates divorce and anyone who has been there knows why. #RehabTime Because, that pushes you to your calling or purpose. Maybe we rushed too fast in things. I can guarantee calling your husband a “loser” isnt helping… Read more », Sis, you probably have talked to him about this many times, but I would say don’t bring it up to him again and tell God all about it and trust and believe that God hears you and sees the situation. I been having the feeling that God wants me to move on from my relationship of 17 years. I did pray to go and received a dream about having the miscarriage and a week later I did. After that I stayed single, I met some men but Dnt go for them as I was waiting on God for the right man to come along. For me, it was a breakup. It breaks my heart, and idk why. I’m not saying I’d take him back like that but I have developed a spirit of forgiveness and patience and it could happen one day. This man is truly amazing, so kind and loving. I’ve heard testimonies of people having their family or friends accept Christ into their lives 20 or 30 years later. Please pray for his healing and for us ♡. I know one may be that him and his family don’t believe in God, but isn’t there a possibility that that could change? So now i really really just want to be friends with him after praying to God asking him to love me back and all, now i just want to pray for him to just stay relevant in my life. But, if you’re an intentional Christian who purely desires God’s will to be done in your life, you shouldn’t feel like any relationship that didn’t work out was a waste of time. Angry at my ex, and more importantly I got angry at God. I’ve never been in a relationship before, but I can contemplate this to the other divisions of my life when God says no to some. I’m upset and hormonal. Infatuation is such as well. Now after feeling this I was puzzled why God let me go through this mess again after my trauma is this guy is gonna be this bad ? He goes to the same church as me (different campuses at least so I hardly ever run into him) but he keeps wanting to be friends with me. I went a few weeks without talking to him but then I succumb to temptation and message him again and then it starts the emotional rollercoaster all over again. Hope it does…I don’t want to be confusing. Problems from every angle rose against the relationship. Mine was held a little better coped with as I sought God still I found things to enjoy in life wed missed and should engage in. As anyone with less vendetta and hatred would not do such and move forward as we are trying to do, yet turmoil seems to trap at each turn and ut is nerve rackingly uncalled for where lawful offices had to get involved and do little to cease the antics of it all. God has changed me a lot since the breakup and I thank Him daily for it. Move like there’s no plan B. They haven’t gone wrong so far accept this time. Jesus said, "Behold, I stand at the door [of your heart] and knock. It just happened and he dropped into my lap. , Hi Christina, wow it’s such a blessing to hear your story. I believe God put him in my life for this lesson. That will only lead to pain for both of you and it’s not fair to the man you are dating. if you feel absolutely nothing for him, he is not the one. In part, this is true. My goal is not to break couples apart, but for couples to have a greater confidence in their decision to marry. I really appreciate the insights brought up in this article. Thank you Justine. He would game more hours than work. After I read this article I wept and I was very sorry to God. Learn how your comment data is processed. In finding that my marriage failed I was also alienated from my children where lawyers proved it in court and the system swallowed me whole yet ever GOD BLESS…..Psalm 37:4, This is my EXACT story as well. A lot of relationships can be described as emotional, intense, and draining. No one has ever failed in believing that God can provide with His riches in heaven. Do you think these 3 reasons apply to friendships as well? Those days are hard but ive been able to make it through them. I’m going through a break up and it hurts real Deep this helped and I hope u can write me back thank you ? When I met her she was in an abusive relationship with another man, which is the man in which her and my friend first separated because of. thank you for sharing this with us. Relationships are just one part of life, but there are so many more situations in which we might not understand God’s no. I couldn’t believe it. Hi, I'm Justine a certified dating and relationship coach who has been blogging on here since 2017. I’m stupid in love but need to know if I’m doing the right thing by being in this relationship. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever have to face. We secretly hope that God will understand and improve our job or relationship. I have been in a relationship for 3 years. It really moved me and help me realized that maybe it wasn’t really loved in the first place, maybe it was just infatuation and that other societal factors did pressure me to going into this relationship. Yes, I do think that it applies to friendships as well. Dear Lili, I am so sorry you are going through that pain. Sorrow in the midst of the severing is not only appropriate, but good. There is no easy way of getting around it. God created you to enjoy and thrive … I’m open to negative or positive feedback. God will sometimes end a relationship for YOUR protection....so stop chasing after the person he's trying to save you from. And prayed for everything to go back to normal. Just go to get through this valley! That same week he broke up with me. I’m definitely going to miss all the memories we made but I know for now I have to work on myself and trust in the Lord. I cry constantly and all he says is don’t worry GOD is going to work it out and we are going to be okay. There’s less communication between the two of you. That includes having sex with him. Ending a relationship is no easier with age and experience, but sometimes we become so caught in patterns and schedules, the comfortable grooves of our lives, something as disruptive and jarring as ending a relationship can seem too much effort and fuss, even when we’re not at all happy. You may not even realize how damaging the relationship is. Hey Teye, it takes two to Tango. I believe that God will always remove things that distract us from Him. And it’s going to hurt a lot! When you will leave your best life and love yourself so much, God will open up the gate and you will find your person. When you are in such a relationship, you often mistake infatuation and lust for love. hello first I would like to say thank you soo much for this article I am currently going through a break up it’s been 6 months now, he was good person by buying me gifts but I am not a gift person, but I always appreciated, I started to lost my confidence the day he called me bitch in front of his friend, I devoted my life and my time on him thinking it will get better my first time smoking was with him and when my relationship was going doing he looked at me in my face and says to me ” come here slut come here” no he wasn’t my first boyfriend but he was my first actual relationship he broke up with me shortly after saying I am crazy thank you for this so much. 3 months ago he ended things via text while we were at work. But if you want to be forgiven by God and come into a relationship with him, you can do so right now by asking him to forgive you and come into your life. After the sudden breakup with my girlfriend of near 5 years, God showed me that I idolised the relationship more than Him. I’m thankful because the time apart has brought so much growth in my life…Before I was uncertain about committing in marriage because of the issues we had, but after time apart now I’m sure! Why would God allow us to get back together in the first place just to tear us apart again? Wow …. God is talking to your husband through people, articles, messages, etc. I love God with all my heart and soul!! And I agree, if you invite him in and allow him to guide you, you will never look back and regret again. He sounded happy. A godly relationship will only work if you discover God’s true love for you. Well we tried pushing for almost a yr till I finally told him he could stop if he’s stop if he wants to cause I too could understand. Yet I do think there are many circumstances we humans allow to overcome us whether by our own weaknesses or by fear perhaps even self esteem is resoundligly common among circumstantial reasons that hold no candle and instead snuff loves flame passion met with another. I am writing this comment with tears of joy. So before you ask yourself if God wants you to get back with your ex, ask yourself if the relationship was godly, healthy, and empowering. The great loose of my life. with God by my side each and every day I know he will bring the right relationship into my life! We were just start as a friend. it’s right. All these are not emotions or feelings that come from God. Me and my husband had a rough time for a decade; all our family & friends constantly advising us to get a divorce but we knew it would break our children’s heart. If there is an us to be. I need to maintain a godly relationship,but my boyfriend keeps on having sex with me, we’ve broken up severally on this issue and it seems consistent . This guy just stopped loving me overnight. still to no avail the loss of kids in this heavily contested divorce are lost. I’ve been asking God over and over about this question with my ex. I know we were not equally yoked and the relationship fed my flesh more than anything. There are not many places you can just start grilling food and selling it on a whim. I never sought or pursued the relationship in the first place. If you’ve been dating someone and have noticed a change in the relationship…, Here are 4 ways to know God is intervening in your relationship…. And all his efforts have failed, so he resorts to befriending the single females in which he knows she has close friendship to or frequence more over than myself because we grew apart there for a while in effort to cross paths display newly common interest and open-mindedness on his behalf in effort to obtain information about what she’s doing where she’s going who she’s hanging around and so on and so forth as well as seed bad gossip into those circles against her current boyfriend. Nov 14, 2018 - Going through a break-up and wondering why God will sometimes end a relationship? I prayed to god for sign about starting a relationship with my partner I had a dream of a us holding a baby boy so I went for it and started the relationship. Hi Stephanie, thank you so much for sharing. I’m adding you to my newsletter manually now . My suggestion is, that you make a list of all the reasons why the two of you would not be good together. I still struggle with the pain and keep asking myself the same questions like you I am 35years but let’s pray for each other, we should trust God for he has a better plan. I pray you get closer to God and find the woman that he has for you. Well, I have committed clearly and it isn’t enough for her. It was hard to accept God’s no, but I’m so thankful for it now that I look back and understand how poisonous those relationships were. The pastor delivered a prophetic word to us together saying that he will ask me to marry him and that we will have a child together etc..she went on to say that when he asks me to marry him..she hears me saying- boy stop playing..( as I always joke around with him) But he’s not playing this time and we will be married..however, before this will happen our relationship will turn for the worse and begin to fall apart..reason being there will be people around him that are dress in sheep clothing..meaning the devil is going to try to distract it in every way possible and through people that he has known for years or is kin too. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Accept That It Will Hurt. “I’m happy for you.” And that was that. I’m sorry you are going through that. However, if someone is not sure about you, you need to take a step back and ask yourself if they truly deserve you. At the end of the day you are responsible for discerning God’s will in the depths of your own heart, and sometimes this means making choices that your extended family doesn’t support. What do you think about this situation? I jad a relationship of 8years with a girl who always love, cherished and always pleaded with me to marry. He is Christian, and has brought me closer to God and into his church. Hey Sarah, I’m glad you asked this question because I’m sure many people can relate. Even now it hurts ! to do anything. My motivation for work has also come to an all-time-low, especially after I collapsed from overworking in the attempt to forget everything about the break-up. You don’T have to be ashamed that you are new to the faith. He has been married and divorced before, so he’s no stranger to the entire process however I don’t believe that the emotional hang up for trauma he’s experienced here in wer present in the finality of his previous marriage before this last one. My spouse walked out 4 months ago from 19 years…. Hey Candice. We are both currently 24. – 1 John 4:8. This took away my self worth and the longer it lasted or I endured the worse it seemed easy for her to control as if I had no voice left to decide for myself what I wanted and how painful it was to recover from. Hearing God say ‘no’ has been a hard challenge for me. I was hurt with God and with him. Your husband is speaking the truth even if you don’t see his actions line up, God is dealing with him and you can’t see it right now. But don’t think that maybe just because God didn’t permit it to happen at the moment doesn’t mean it’s not God’s will. God said no to me regarding a group of friends I had to give up, as they were not good influences. She refuses to see that my lack of religion most of my life didn’t mean I wasn’t close to God. The only problem, neither the feelings nor your current state of being are sustainable and doomed to die down. There are some great examples of relationships God sent (Rachel, Ruth) but if something has been torn apart, is it possible for doors to be reopened, after you’ve already had the opportunity and failed? I can imagine that it’s hard to work with someone that you were romantically involved with. Now I’m in a safe place and so greatful God has brought me back from the dead and restored my Faith in Love again! Which is very difficult because I wish I could be reconciled knowing that I would love him better now that I have wisdom and new understanding on what love is, what it looks like, how to receive and give love. I didn’t realize I had pure love there. Don’t stay with someone because it looks good on paper (he is Christian etc.). However, if you are not married to him you are running the risk of being unequally yoked and therefore miss out on many blessings God has for you. Satan is the god of this world and he is the one who turned their hearts. But through all this I still have this uneasy feeling and know that I cannot continue the relationship without God’s blessing. Also I don’t believe in coincidences, and this stuff has been on my mind for weeks. I disagree with you. Thank you for this blog. So I tried to do my best to get him out of his shell. Thanks again Justine. My Fiance left me and our children suddenly my life was perfect I had it all. Thank you for your time. I learned how important trusting God when a relationship ends was to my spiritual growth. He has now moved on and in a new happy relationship. God’s no was so very powerful to me during that time. As a believer, we have the honor to know and be in a relationship with the author, creator, and embodiment of love. Right now after reading your post, I’ve come to realised that God can breakup or say NO to a relationship. My boyfriend and I had dated for over two years when he broke up with me. He did tell me that he does have faith in us. A month ago he planned to do Nose surgery and do ear piercing. I spoke to her mum according to the woman she has been trying to talk to her to come to her senses but last monday i told the woman not to cakl her again because is obvious she now has another man. I thought I’m ready to pursue a relationship after what I felt like being healed, however, the second man came into my life but with another form of abuse. Especially when I tried to tell him there was more to life than gaming. I have tried and prayed to God to help me love this one since I have a conviction that he’s “the one”. Sometimes God does want you to stay in an abusive relationship depending on what kind of abuse it is. I wouldn’t say it’s a breakup since we don’t actually have a label in the first place and I in part am too scared of commitments. I hurt Him and myself. However, I also believe that you should surrender this to him without planning your life according to an outcome. But lately, it’s been weighing on me again here and there. COVID hit – which didn’t allow us to see each other and suddenly (3+ months). That same week she blocked me from social media and changed her number ,while i was trying to reflect on the relationship she was going out getting two new tattoos and not a single response back after 20 days I sent her a message threw her email and all she said was she reflected and wanted to let go because I took her for granted . I wound up finding answers in Ecclesiastes in realizing that everything in life under the sun in hevel. Then she gets up and walks away. Last one played out this august and we had a fight and told ourselves is over like before but this time for the first time in our 8years she locked up her mind like one seeing another man and this has lasted for 2weeks+. I always felt in the way but I especially felt in the way when he started playing this game. For what could be the approval of other people 's life experience time... 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